Adam: Mummy? Why is Christmas only once a year?
Me: Because it is a birthday. You only have birthdays once a year.
Adam: Who's birthday is it?
Me: Jesus's birthday.
Adam: Who's Jesus?
clearly my attempts at a Christian religious education are failing. Never mind, I'll continue.
Me: Er, he's the son of God.
Adam: Who's God?
Forget failing, I might as well admit that they are non existent.
Me: Well, er, where to start. Um. Ok, some people believe that God made the world and everything in it.
Luke: Did he make willies?
Me: I guess so
Just starting to wonder where exactly this conversation is going. I mean we appear to have switched from religious to biological conundrums with remarkable ease here and all I can think about is what to make for supper.
Luke: He forgot to make you a willy.
Me: well I'm a girl and girl don't have willies.
Luke: But where do you store your wee?
Me: not quite able to face a biology lesson with diagrams at this stage of the day Come along boys, bathtime is finished. Lets all get out.
Luke: But I know what we can do. When it is Christmas we can go to the shops and buy you a willy.
Guess I know what I'm getting for Christmas this year then.
I can knit you one if it makes things easier.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post! Made me and OH laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteJust reminds us of our kids soo much!
What a considerate son you have there :-) Everyone should have a willy.
ReplyDeleteHaha. This is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThat should be an interesting shopping trip. They make all kinds these days. Careful: he could develop willy envy.
ReplyDeleteVery funny! Great post! x Jazzy
ReplyDeleteAwesome, your sons are hilarious. And say what you will about having dropped the ball re their religious education, you have clearly succeeded in teaching them kindness! (perhaps a much more immediate win)
ReplyDeleteVery funny, I wonder what other body parts will be on Santa's list this Christmas?
ReplyDeleteTime to introduce the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge to the dinner table.
ReplyDeleteI love the thought processes of children!
ReplyDeleteNow there's a useful present!
ReplyDeleteI do the "some people believe" thing as well - apparently a surefire way to make kids atheists. (Fine by me, but seems strange sometimes, having been a very Catholic child myself. Now lapsed, obviously.)
Oh how wonderful. A willie is for christmas, not for life!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious and brilliant. Hope they don't present anything too life like on Christmas day!
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh out loud. What a helpful little son you have. Interesting in relation to the concept of penis-envy - girls may not have it, but boys sure think they ought to...
ReplyDeleteLucky you! I guess if it were attached to George Clooney it wouldn't be such a bad gift....
ReplyDeleteFantastic! I expect full pics on the blog on Boxing Day.
ReplyDeleteConfess the thought of the "religion" conversation scares me the most (yes, even the one about the birds and the beeds!) - have only really managed to skirt around it so far.
Rofl! What a lovely thought :P
ReplyDeleteMy boys often sigh and say, 'Poor mummy, she has no willy'. I'm sure they'd feel just as sorry for you. xx
ReplyDeleteexcellent. Can he pick me up one too please, I've always had a bit of penis envy.
ReplyDeleteSo what would Santa bring Dave, then? Boobs?
ReplyDeleteMy goodness - that could almost be in the script of the next Four Weddings/Notting Hill type film - I can just see Hugh Grant mumbling through the scene!
ReplyDeleteThat's really funny! Kids do say the best things. The previous commenter is right - this is straight out of a Richard Curtis film!
ReplyDeleteExpat Mum - a knitted willy would be priceless.
ReplyDeleteKerry - glad it isn't just us having this kind of conversation.
NotSupermum - there's a lot of men who might still think that.
MM - thanks xx
TM - I can't even start to think of that shopping trip. Do I send Dave out with them to buy it? Possibilities are endless.
Jazzygal - thanks!
Sara - hadn't thought of it like that. Am now feeling all glowy!
VBC - a brain that works without sleep for Mummy, a brain that includes a cleaning section for Daddy, a mouth that will eat vegetables for Adam and some eyeballs that stay shut between 8 and 7am for luke. Christmas wishlist completed!
Owen - As long as the remember that their mother is the fount of all knowledge and that they need to believe as gospel all that I say.
MaA - brilliant aren't they?
Mwa - Do you want one too?
MH - And you have to take care of it.
ReplyDeleteRS - Christmas with the grandparents. You can already imagine the scene...
K&D - starts so young...
Mummmeeee - there's a thought.
Julie B - especially if Expat Mum can do me a knitted one.
Livi - I do love the unexpected turns conversations can take.
A&U - us willyless Mummys need to stick together in our boys world.
Vegemitemix - I'll get two and send one over.
Iota - probably please Dave!
CLorna - Not floppy hair Hugh!
Amelia - The thing is you need to have the conversations to be able to write them.