I have finally come to the conclusion that if I am to manage to get through the day with a shred of sanity, then something has got to give. More than one thing in fact. Here's a list of things that I have put on hold in order to be able to keep my head above water.
1. CyberMummy. It was always going to be ambitious to think I'd be able to make the Mummy and Daddy Blogger conference CyberMummy later this month. It just was a bit too ambitious. I just can't sort the logistics out. My attempts to sort the logistics out have been stymied by Dave's 40th birthday the next day. It's a special birthday so there isn't really any competition. Whilst the other parent bloggers are crowd sourcing and keynote speaking, I'll be baking cakes and packing picnics. I'm sad not to be going (especially as I was looking forward to meeting Plan B and NotSuperMum, not to mention my old expat muckers, iota, potty diaries and LondonCityMum as well as the other Huggies Mums) but there you go.
2. PhD. This one has been on hold for a while but I kept thinking I should be doing some reading, some writing, some more research. But I haven't got the brain cells to rub together. Sam is going to go to a child minder in September, I'll start it again then (and you never know, I might even manage a trip to Bosnia to kick start the research whilst I'm at it - there's a treat for me).
3. Kitchen Extension. Who was I kidding? 4 months of building work over the summer? Whilst weaning and with a crawling baby? I have delivered a swift sharp kick to my backside and slap to the head. It's still in the pipeline but sometime during 2012.
4. Blogging. I just don't have the time to do it. You may have noticed by my sporadic posting and even less frequent commenting and general interaction in the community. I miss it, I really do. But I can't do it right now. I know you blogging lot will still be there is a couple of months. So I'll still pop by to say hi when I can, but if I don't then I'm not ignoring you, I'm just drowning in real life stuff.
5. Street Party. Ok, I haven't managed to pass this one on. But the delegating is getting impressive and it will be over soon. I'm not doing it again.
6. Adam's homework. He's 6. He doesn't need to do homework. I haven't done any for months now and it is kind of liberating.
7. Domesticity. Just not really happening. We now have a cleaner who keeps the worst at bay, but I have accepted I am never going to be a domestic goddess. Even better, I don't really care.
There is a load of other stuff too. But, if I am to remain on top of life then I need to be realistic about what I can achieve. And having put a lot of things on hold I'm feeling totally liberated. Why didn't I do this months ago?
Ah, sounds far too similar and that's with only two!! I've been waiting for things to get easier for ages and it just doesn't seem to happen. Have the PhD meeting next week where I plan to see if it can be put on hold (again!), bathroom is still not renovated, cleaner has recently been hired (why did that take so long!) Generally just managing to keep my job (2.5 days) and keep everyone clean and fed (the rest) Glad you are feeling liberated and wondering what else I can put on hold x
ReplyDeleteGood for you making these decisions, it's tempting to think you can do it all and really you can't. You just have to let some things go and slip. Good for you on not doing homework, my 5yo has to do it with 3yo wanting to join in and 1yo pulling both their hair and poking them because she's not getting attention. I think I need to think about what I can drop too. It's a shame not to see you at Cybermummy but maybe we can meet up in the school hols and you're right, the blogging community will always be here! Enjoy some time out x
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that you won't make Cybermummy... but it's liberating indeed to finally grasp that there's only one of you and there's only so much that one of you can do at one given time.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. Not going to Cybermummy and using your husband's birthday as an excuse eh? That's a shame, I was looking forward to meeting my nemesis. Another time I hope. Bwahahaha!
ReplyDeleteGlad the weight of this has been lifted! And good for you. And to think sometimes I get bogged down with everything I'm not doing when I really should be scratching things off the long list and focusing my energies!
ReplyDeleteYou can't do everything - that is a serious amount of stuff to have on your plate. Don't worry, I won't be at Cybermummy either. And who wants to be a domestic goddess? ;-) Life is too short.
ReplyDeleteIt is always a shame when you have to give something up (unless it is housework, of course...) but needs must: none of us can do everything and all too often we try to do too much. I think it's great that you can resume the PhD in September: sounds a great thing to aim for. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI will be hear waiting for you when you get back. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Oh and Maxi adn Mini never do homework
ReplyDeletepoop that you're not going to CM. But good luck with getting all the rest of that done!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Enjoy as much time with the small ones while they are still small. Sorry not to be seeing you at CyberMummy, but... next year.
ReplyDeleteI read this with interest, thinking what wonderful sense it made and that I should take a leaf out of your book.
ReplyDeleteThen I thought about what I could drop and realised that all I do is keep 4 people clean and fed and safe. Nothing else at the moment!
Will miss you at CyberMummy, but glad that you feel better for letting go.
Alice - Glad it isn't just me on hold with the PhD. We may be the 2 oldest PhD candidates ever at this rate... Isn't having a cleaner just the most amazing thing? PS - was thinking about you the other day as I skinned some peaches to wean, and the lovely photo you had of the peaches you were giving your two when they were weaning.
ReplyDeleteEmily O - Sad not to see you at CyberMummy, but we should get the kids altogether soon. It was so lovely when we managed it before..
LJB - it is liberating. I've had a much calmer and less stressful day. MInd you I haven't ventured into the room they were in before dinner yet...
notSuperMum - notice that sense of someone slipping silently behind you. That certain chill that goes down your spine when you are sure someone is watching? You will do... (bwahahahahahaaaa)
Tanja - I've decided I can't be bothered to do the stuff on my list. So I'm just scratching them off wiithout actually doing them first. Quite enjoying it!
NVG - life is way too short. Plus it is a goal I will NEVER achieve so is all wasted time.
ReplyDeleteCW - Thanks. I like the aim of starting in Sept. Come Sept I'll probably put it off again...
MadHouse - yay the antihomework brigade. xx
HOM - Can't be bothered to do the rest of it at the moment. Loving that I can't be bothered. Long may this moment of zen last.
Iota - Will do - definitely next year. I'm sad not to be seeing you again this year. Keep crossing my fingers for new job for your husband.
Kelly - that's a lot to do. x
Well done! Am sad not to be seeing you at Cybermummy and will of course miss you around here but we'll all be here, crazy as ever when you come back!
ReplyDeleteI wrote about just this kind of stuff recently after getting to a point where something had to give - mainly obsessions about lists, control, time etc - and it takes over and threatens to ruin your life and steal your sanity!
I'm reading the post about CyberMummy so there will I'm sure be video evidence to prove that I can totally relate to how you feel and you have my complete support and respect xxx
Thank you so much for the vote of confidence! And if it makes it any better (which I can't imagine it will) you wouldn't have met me anyway - didn't get round to getting a ticket before M arrived, and now he is here and we are down south (got a wedding in Essex on Saturday - M has his first kilt!) it's sold out. Hey ho. Would have loved to have met you too. In Barnes sometime?!
ReplyDeleteSo the international community is going to have to wait even longer before they can get to grips with the issues of reconciliation in Bosnia? Be careful - the country may not even be there by the time you get back to working on it. But at least I can't imagine you being able to keep away from your blogging.
ReplyDeleteYou are now officially my guru. I'm having to do something very similar - with three kids and a wish for a social life, corners must be cut everywhere else. See you at the other end!
ReplyDeleteAwww. I'll miss you at Cybermummy. Last time you were there you had a big bump! You've made absolutely the right decision though. You have to focus on the important things. You enjoy those boys (and Dave). Blog when you can, if you can, we'll all be here when life is not so hectic and you have a spare minute in your day. x
ReplyDeleteCompletely understand, although I have to say I am sad to miss you on Saturday. Just think of all the lovely conservations we could have had. Muslims, virgins, ...
ReplyDeleteI like the bit about your 6 year old and his homework. I wholeheartedly agree! I have five kids (latest one born 9 days ago, I'm with you on the baby brain train) and I don't have the time or the inclination to coax my 6 year old into doing homework. He should be eating dirt in the garden or washing the dog in the toilet, not practising his times tables!
ReplyDeleteHey you. Popped over to see how you were doing but might have guessed you'd be busy busy with your new addition.
ReplyDeleteWell done for giving yourself a break, when I read through your list it did sound like a phenomenol amount to take on so I'm glad you're feeling liberated by putting a lot of it on hold.
I was going to ask you whether you planned on going to cybermummy but you've just answered my question.
So great to 'see' you again. xxx
Speaking as one who has this tendency as well (and I only have one child to worry about) might you be taking on a bit too much? You've just inspired me for a post, thanks!
ReplyDeleteSorry, lost your e-mail address, so sending via here - but hopefully this'll help kick the brain into gear and keep the momentum up.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow the Dutch Appeal Court announces its decision on the appeal by Hasan Nuhanovic and the Mustafic family against the District Court decision that the Netherlands wasn’t responsible for failing to protect their relatives when Dutchbat ordered them to leave the base at Potocari and handed them over to Mladic for execution. The District Court decided that effective command and control of Dutchbat had passed from the Dutch to the UN. Hasan Nuhanovic and the Mustafics maintain that the Dutch were sidestepping the UN chain of command. (If you want I'll send you the full press release including Bosnian translation if you e-mail me)