I went to London last week. For the day. All by myself. This, on its own, was cause for excitement. I wore a skirt, not to mention a top that is dry clean only. I even found my make up bag, which took quite a while as it was last used sometime in the last decade, and put some slap on. Then I went in the quiet carriage of the train and concentrated on reading a book.
Obviously I had a lovely time, but the London experience isn't the thing I'm referring to in the title. The thing I took so much pleasure out of? Oh, that was when I came back from London, arriving home at 6.30pm to discover Dave at the door looking down the street to see whether I was nearly back yet. Obviously his desperation was because he had missed me enormously over the day and wanted to see the love of his life back at his side once again. But it was probably more to do with the fact that for 3 hours he had been left in sole charge of 3 children.
To be fair the 3 hours were the post school witching hours when everyone is tired and cranky. The older 2 fight each other for fun whilst Sam, still getting used to the child minder, seems to think that it is child abuse to be put onto the floor for any length of time greater than 5 seconds. And the post school 3 hour hit also includes cooking supper and, more stressfully, feeding it to the ungrateful hoards with the compulsory 'you will eat your veggies' battle.
I have to admit that Dave did well. He had done Fun Stuff with them. They had been worn out with quantities of outdoor running around. They had been fed and watered and were in the bath.
The man was exhausted and a teeny tiny part of me felt exultant for I knew that in the scale of looking after children he'd actually had a pretty easy time of it. Yes he'd done the 3 child childcare hit. But, the food cooked was that which I'd already prepared for him. No form of housework of any kind had been completed. The house was well and truly trashed and, even by my own slovenly standards, needed urgent tidying. Washing or hanging out of any clothes was nowhere near the agenda. I was back in time to help with bedtime itself. Whats more, he doesn't need to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.
It did make me feel better. Sometimes I feel that I 'only' stay at home, 'just' being a Mum and that is somehow an inferior, easy job. It is good to remind myself that it really is one of the hardest jobs in the world.
It's amazing how eye-opening our other halves find a day at home with the kids.
ReplyDeleteOh please - I have friends who have important jobs so that they can get away from the kids and have a bit of peace and quiet. The thing about doing the SAHM thing is that you never have time off. I don't think anyone understands that aspect of it.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Expat Mum: I have at least a few friends who returned to work admitting that they could afford to stay at home with the kids but would rather go back to work because it was easier.
ReplyDeleteI love those little moments too, and often S thinks that I should be 'on-duty' 24 hours a day, every day because 'that's my job' while he can sit back and relax after work, and have lie-ins every weekend, and generally still have kid-free time. And that's when you know it's time to have a day out to yourself!
Ooh the satisfaction!
ReplyDeleteI had a similar satisfaction over the past 3-4 weeks, as Ex has had the boys on his lonesome, due to the American girlfriend being stranded in Chicago. I think it is the first time in 2 years that he has done the solo parenting thing and he looked exhausted. And the boys were absolutely desperate to come home to me, because I think he was losing his rag a little bit more than they are used to.
She's here now, so I am sure it is all back to being hunky dory, sort of shared parenting. But it was really really nice while it lasted. And it made me appreciate that the reason I find it hard to do it all alone...is because it IS bloody hard!
Thanks for the further confirmation of this fact!
(And next time you're in London...let's meet up! And if you do fancy replanning that play date, I would love that too, even tho I have semi fallen off the blogging planet...)
Looking after kids is SO much harder than working at a 'proper job'. It's so nice to get an affirmation of that, though!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean - there is a HUGE satisfaction to coming back to discover that they've managed to do no more than keep their head above water and not been able to do the washing, ironing, cooking etc - good to remind them that it is hard work from time to time
ReplyDeleteI remember the OH calling me every 5 minutes to see if I was on my way home when our son was younger and I decided to give myself a few hours off to go shopping in Leeds on a visit home.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have minded that much but he was at his Mum & Dad's house, didn't have to cook, clean or do anything other than entertain (with much granny help) for a couple hours.
Well done for getting out for the day!! I have friends who feel guilty gong for a coffee while their child is at morning nursery.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I really LOVE it is I am on my way home from wherever and I get a text from my husband 'are you nearly home?' It's like you seeing yours looking down the street for you. I always smile.
Hear hear! Such an important reminder that we could all do with remembering more frequently.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I had a day on my own when I was in the small children and babies phase, I always felt so refreshed afterwards. I really think mums should do it more often. It gives perspective, and makes you a better mum. (In my opinion.)
ReplyDeleteMy husband always manages to look ever so relaxed and smug when I've been away as if to say: What's so hard about this then? But I do note that he has a LOT of whiskey in an evening after he's had then so I think it's all a facade
ReplyDeleteHmm. People who do a difficult job every day commenting on the less competent performance of people who don't do it every day? (Little boy throws stink-bomb into the room and runs off)
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was about eight weeks old (and I was solo parenting), a friend suggested I looked after her in the daytime and when to work at night - because clearly I did nothing all day! OMG! It's such a tough job. We're an amazing lot really aren't we?
ReplyDeleteLooking after kids is blooming hard work!!!!
ReplyDeletework can be a rest for me - although trying to juggle both is also bloody tricky! xxx